Why do I always forget my blog?

You would think that talking mindlessness at no one would be something I’d remember to do regularly. 

This post is just going to be about some of my recent projects. 

I’ve got a name afghan in progress for the contest I ran on my Facebook page. 

I started a waffle stitch blanket and I’m about 1/4 of the way finished. I used Caron Cakes in Ocean Waves. 

I’m still out of yarn for the unicorn hooded blanket I’m making for Katelyn. Samantha’s is done. 
Everything is available in my Etsy shop. (Check out Oleg!)

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Remember when fun wasn’t painful? 

I went in a field trip with 8’s class today. We went to a local historic site, Locust Grove, and did a tour. It’s a beautiful place and the kids learned quite a bit (so did I) but I’ll tell you what, I’d rather run my two miles than walk/stand around for 3 hours. My back/hips/neck are hurting me so badly right now. 

It’s very aggravating, not being able to do the things you used to be able to do. I’m not at an age where my body should be breaking down but because of the fibromyalgia little things end up meaning big pain now. I used to be able to go to concerts and stand for hours. To go to bars and stand all night in heels. To DANCE in those heels. I haven’t worn a pair of heels in forever. I’m not sure how my body would react to them now. 

I can run for short periods of time (I end up walking more than I run because I’ve only recently switched from smoking to vaping and my breathing still isn’t very great) but anything that requires me standing for more than half an hour or so is going to mean pain. A little while back I went to a concert where I had to stand for two hours because there was no seating and the next day when I woke up I was in the middle of such a bad flair, I ended up in bed for two days. My whole body was on fire. 

It actually caused an argument with an ex of mine. He got angry because I wouldn’t go to a festival type concert with him that had no designated seating but had asked him to go to a regular concert in an arena with me. He didn’t like my music and I didn’t like his. I tried to explain that his concert would actually cause me physical pain and the effects would last for days but I couldn’t make him understand. To him I was just being selfish. 

I need to start doing more yoga. I’ve just been very tired lately. The increase in my medication has done a lot for my mood but it has made me very tired. Hopefully I will adjust soon. 

I wish I had gotten some pictures but it was a little cramped, our groups were big, and I don’t like taking pictures of other people’s kids and posting them. You never know if they’re ok with that. It really is a lovely place. 

A week later and I feel fine.

Usually by this time I’ve already messaged my ex and let my BPD side come out. I’ve shown great restraint on my part. I’m focusing on the negatives of the relationship instead of the positives and telling myself I don’t need that. 

I deleted his phone number, unfriended him, deleted all messages between us on fb messenger, deleted all of his pics. He never followed me on any other social media so that’s not a problem. I’ve almost completely wiped him out of my life. Only thing left to do is block him but I’ll only do that if he contacts me. 

I will be smart this time. I’m moving on, not dwelling on. It’s been a long time since I was able to say that. We’re going to be super busy over the summer months and that’s how I want it to be. Just living life, no time to dwell on the insignificant. This summer is about my daughters and I. My oldest is going off to high school and lots of stress. So I’ve got to make it as fun as I can around her marching band schedule. Her birthday is in July. She likes it low-key. I was hoping we’d be in our new apartment by then but I guess not. 

I’m doing a lot of sitting around, hurrying up and waiting. It’s driving me batty. 

I’m just hoping that here in a couple of weeks I have good news to pass on. 🤞🏼

“I just don’t see it working out…”

I’ve heard that so much lately. It would make sense if there were problems but there haven’t been. It seems like such a cop out. What you say when you don’t have a real reason (or a reason you can say out loud such as, “I’m cheating on you”). 

If you’re going to make up an excuse to break up with someone, come up with something legitimate. Don’t give them something half-assed like, “I just don’t see it working out”.  

In case you can’t tell I broke up with my boyfriend. I was strong and I stood up for myself in the face of bullshit and stupidity. He made it easy by being an ass. 

Just don’t be a jerk. 

My four legged baby is sick.

My oldest cat is sick. I don’t know exactly what’s wrong with him but after 5 hours at the vet yesterday I found out his lungs sound rough and he had a fever. He was given a steroid shot and some amoxicillin. 

He’s been wheezy for a little while now but I thought it was because he’s overweight. The past week or so he’s been acting like he’s been trying to throw up a hair ball but can’t (and getting very twisty when he does it) and I’m pretty sure he’s vomiting. I can’t say for sure, I haven’t seen him do it and I have three cats, but he’s the one making all the noises. 

Hopefully the antibiotics get him well again and it’s not anything more serious. My kittybabies being sick is just as stressful as my human babies being sick. I worry about them a little more though because they can’t tell me what hurts or how they feel. I also don’t have pet insurance so if I can’t afford the procedure right then, I just have to hope for the best. 

I hope to have an update that he’s in better health soon. I lost a kittybaby 2 years ago this month to liver and kidney failure and I’m not sure I’d be able to handle losing my old man. 

My cup runneth over…

Well actually it doesn’t, and that’s a good thing in this instance. I’ve become a part of the menstrual cup cult and I love it. It’s a whole new experience but it’s nice. 

I don’t have to worry about whether I have enough tampons with me or in the cabinet anymore. I can go a much longer time without having to empty it. I can see just how much I’m bleeding (which seems like it’s way less than it was). It’s a little more effort than tampons and pads but the benefits outweigh that extra effort you put in. I’m definitely sold. 

Of course, I haven’t had to use it at someone else’s house or change it out in public yet but I think I’ll be ok. At least this way there’s no rattly papers or trash left behind. I’m so self conscious about that sort of thing. Now no one knows but me 😊. 

I was really hesitant about it at first. I really thought it was kind of gross. Then I read a thread in a women’s fitness group I’m in and all those women loved their cup. They all said there’s a learning curve (you’ll see that phrase a lot when you’re researching cups) and there is, but in the end they loved them. It convinced me and I placed my order right then. Now I’m a convert. 

I still have some of my old habits. I want to change it out frequently like I did tampons, for fear of leaking or it being full but it never does and it never is. I just have to get used to it. 

I guess it’s just a new journey I have to ease into. I’m loving it so far though. What about any of my vagina having readers? Are any of you cup users? Have you considered it? What do you think of the idea? I’d like to hear what you guys think! 

I finally finished something. 

I finished 8’s blanket today. It’s a corner to corner blanket and it’s taken me probably close to a year. It’s fairly large, almost as big as my queen sized bed but it took me that long because I would put it down for long periods of time and not work on it. If I had worked on it non-stop it wouldn’t have been nearly as long. 

I’m not sure what my next project will be. I’ve got a broomstick lace scarf that I’ve started and gotten a few rows into but put aside for the blanket. I may work on it. Or I may make a few animals. I owe the girls a couple of octopi and I downloaded a seahorse pattern not too long ago. The animals work up a lot faster. They take me about a week. 

Knowing me I’ll start another blanket again soon. Maybe not a corner to corner. I’d like to do another like I made for my ex’s mom. I forgot what they are called. There are a lot of ends to weave in though. That’s the worst part of the whole process. 

I’ll figure it out, I guess. Any excuse to buy yarn is good enough for me 😀.