Remember when fun wasn’t painful? 

I went in a field trip with 8’s class today. We went to a local historic site, Locust Grove, and did a tour. It’s a beautiful place and the kids learned quite a bit (so did I) but I’ll tell you what, I’d rather run my two miles than walk/stand around for 3 hours. My back/hips/neck are hurting me so badly right now. 

It’s very aggravating, not being able to do the things you used to be able to do. I’m not at an age where my body should be breaking down but because of the fibromyalgia little things end up meaning big pain now. I used to be able to go to concerts and stand for hours. To go to bars and stand all night in heels. To DANCE in those heels. I haven’t worn a pair of heels in forever. I’m not sure how my body would react to them now. 

I can run for short periods of time (I end up walking more than I run because I’ve only recently switched from smoking to vaping and my breathing still isn’t very great) but anything that requires me standing for more than half an hour or so is going to mean pain. A little while back I went to a concert where I had to stand for two hours because there was no seating and the next day when I woke up I was in the middle of such a bad flair, I ended up in bed for two days. My whole body was on fire. 

It actually caused an argument with an ex of mine. He got angry because I wouldn’t go to a festival type concert with him that had no designated seating but had asked him to go to a regular concert in an arena with me. He didn’t like my music and I didn’t like his. I tried to explain that his concert would actually cause me physical pain and the effects would last for days but I couldn’t make him understand. To him I was just being selfish. 

I need to start doing more yoga. I’ve just been very tired lately. The increase in my medication has done a lot for my mood but it has made me very tired. Hopefully I will adjust soon. 

I wish I had gotten some pictures but it was a little cramped, our groups were big, and I don’t like taking pictures of other people’s kids and posting them. You never know if they’re ok with that. It really is a lovely place. 

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