Why am I so bad at guys?

I have a notoriously bad record at relationships. Have you seen Shameless? I’m Fiona. If there’s a bad for me guy within a couple of miles, I’ll find him.

My best friend says stop looking and let someone find me. I say I only go to the grocery (during the day), the doctor, my therapist, and stores like WalMart or the pet store (during the day). I don’t really have much opportunity for people to find me. Dating sites are terrible places. The free ones, at least. I’ve never paid for one. I had to quit them completely after a guy threatened to basically stalk me.

It doesn’t help that even if I do find someone I think is worth seeing I can only see them on Friday or Saturday. I don’t go on dates when my kids are home. It seems no matter how much I say that guys still try but I stick to it.

Loneliness is a terrible thing though. Especially when depression sets in. Just a shoulder to lay your head on can help sometimes. When I’m up I want someone to go do things with. Instead I sit here in my apartment and do a lot of nothing. I have 3 cats. I’m only 32. At this rate I’ll have my full crazy cat lady kit by 40 and will be set for the rest of my life.

The holidays and my birthday are the worst. I’m not big on Valentine’s Day. It used to be my wedding anniversary and one of my closest cousin’s overdosed and passed away this past Valentine’s Day so it’s probably the worst day of the year. It wouldn’t be so bad to have someone try to make it better though.

What can I really do at this point? Nothing, as far as I can tell. Just keep swimming in shark infested waters and hope I make it to land before I get bit.

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